pink hairdye and green nailpolish (figureinthefog) wrote in dreamslut,
pink hairdye and green nailpolish

So I had a dream last night that Harry Potter was Jesus. He was wearing the long white robe and big red sash that some Jesus paintings show.
We were in a bar, and some guys who we knew were up to no good started coming after him and we ended up crawling through ventilation ducts to get out of there. The only reason I went with him was because he wanted to pay me to make him a hat, and I needed the money. Then he held a gun on me after we got out and told me I had to come with him because I'm his mother.
We ended up in a parking lot where, instead of getting crucified, Jesus Potter got shot up by the mafia. It was a big shootout and for some reason, everyon, while they shot, were hovering 2 feet above the ground and in your typial sniper-in-the-grass position, laying on their stomach and aiming their huge guns at everyon else. I was just laying on the pavement near where Jesus Potter was shooting from. (Yes, he was shooting, too.)
The Mafia guys flew over us numerous times shooting down on us and one bullet went into my arm, ricocheted against the asphalt, and kinde went back out of my arm sideways. It was weird that that was the only hit they had for a really long time in the dream, though, because their guns were inches away from us. Their aim must have either been reeeeaaally bad, or they were just messing with us.
When they finally shot Jesus Potter, he climbed up into a car as he was dying and ordered me, at gunpoint, to get in there with him and suck his big toe, but I just hugged his leg instead, because his toes were all yucky looking.
Then his disciples all showed up in A-shirts and tight jeans and shot the mafia guys. They all had short spikey dreadlocks and one of them looked a lot like Whirljack (I think plasticlumber is the only one here who knows who he is).
They found me and the dead Jesus Potter and left him in the car and told me to go with them, so I started walking through the parking lot with them and I woke up.
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you should write cartoons.

You are so weird. But I love you anyways.